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Why is it that I know in my heart of hearts that I love him? What then is true love? For if I love him and he does not love me back and we have lost so much already and there really is nothing else between us, why does my heart ache this way?

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I leaned on someone too much and I suddenly got attached, which is not a good thing. I understand that this might have eventual ramifications. I just never thought it would be so bad as this. I should end it now. I understand that I’m only trying to like someone because they make me feel good but the thing is, it’s moving too fast and I’m not in love. I’m just in like. In all honesty, I’m simply being very much flattered with the attention I am getting and seeking the security of another relationship when in fact, I am not ready for a new one. I’m thankful for the time and the effort and all the flowery words that has come my way. It’s a good build-up for my sense of self after it has crashed but in all honesty, why am I even considering something that is obviously not right? Ok... Time to think... Get drunk again and all that.

Dear Peyton

 I hate it and I hate this but I'm sorry because I can't forgive you for having forgotten my birthday. It's partly you but it's a lot of me. I love you so much. It hurts so much.  It's important to me. It's so important that I cannot let it go. It can't feel unimportant to the person I love again. I can't. It hurts too much. So sorry but I can't.