Monday, March 8, 2010

The truth hurts

I went to Dan’s last Saturday. I asked him how easy it is to let go of 4 years. I begged him. I punched him. I told him to give me back my 4 years. He wanted to go but I wouldn’t let him.

 

Then Chasen Mae came. She was angry. I wanted to be angry too but it was more a feeling of despair. It was a feeling of intense loss. I wonder just how much she knows of the truth. I wonder how much she wants to believe the truth is.

 

I don’t particularly belong there anymore. It feels so bad to go to that place. I once entered that place knowing I was welcome. I know that I do not want to come in there anymore.

 

I don’t know what to do. I keep crying and crying and it’s not good for me. I don’t want to cry anymore.

 

My baby is mine and is not his.

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