I kept thinking over and over what is it that I have done wrong. Where have I given too much? Where did I err? In the end, it wasn’t really me at all, was it? It was him and his perceived failures in himself. No matter how many times I encourage him and try to tell him that only he would do, he still did not believe in himself enough and needed someone else to tell him. I really was not enough at all. Or maybe I was too much.
I leaned on someone too much and I suddenly got attached, which is not a good thing. I understand that this might have eventual ramifications. I just never thought it would be so bad as this. I should end it now. I understand that I’m only trying to like someone because they make me feel good but the thing is, it’s moving too fast and I’m not in love. I’m just in like. In all honesty, I’m simply being very much flattered with the attention I am getting and seeking the security of another relationship when in fact, I am not ready for a new one. I’m thankful for the time and the effort and all the flowery words that has come my way. It’s a good build-up for my sense of self after it has crashed but in all honesty, why am I even considering something that is obviously not right? Ok... Time to think... Get drunk again and all that.
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