Saturday, March 29, 2008

Tears in my Guitar

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Leche flan

Galing sa ibagn site...

Caramelized sugar:

1/3 cup of brown sugar
1/6 cup of water
Dash of salt (optional)

Place the sugar in the center of a saucepan. Pour water around the sides of the pan. Before the pan gets hot and just when you first put the sugar in the sauce pan, make an X with your finger across the sugar. Do not stir. Turn on the stove to medium heat, bring to a full boil and cook without stirring, swirling the pot occasionally to even out the color, until all the sugar is melted and is amber-caramel in color. Pour the caramelized sugar in a llanera (Philippine aluminum oval mold) or a baking dish.

Custard:

4 egg yolks
1 can condensed milk
After emptying the can of condensed milk, fill the same can with 1/3 liquid milk or water. (Note: this is 1/3 can).
1 tsp of pure vanilla extract

1. In a mixing bowl, mix the yolk gently to break it.
2. Empty the can of condensed milk in the yolk mixture
3. After emptying the can of condensed milk, fill the same can with 1/3 liquid milk or water. (Note: this is 1/3 can) Stir the liquid milk (or water if you prefer) in the can to get all the remaining condensed milk that is sticking to the sides of the inside of the can. Pour this in the mixing bowl.
4. Mix the liquid mixture gently. To have a smooth set custard, do not whisk the mixture so as not to create bubbles in the custard.
5. Strain the mixture while pouring it into the llanera with caramelized sugar.
6. Cover tightly with foil. This avoids moisture from the steam or water to get to the custard while cooking.
7. Cook in a water bath for about 25 minutes or test it by putting a butter knife into the flan and no mixture sticks to the butter knife

To serve, run a knife around the edge of the llanera or baking dish and invert into a serving plate.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I'm undecided.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'm riding the heat of my anger. Later, I'm going to cry my heart out. So much waste. I can't take it. I feel hurt inside. I feel raw. I have nothing. I feel so bad. I feel so sad. I can't take it. I don't want anything anymore.

I lived my life, day to day, for him, because I believed in him and I believed in my love for him. I believed in his love for me. Now, what do I believe in?

Am I nothing now? Just another girl in a lifetime of another person. I wish I was more. I wish I was the one. I wish that I could be the one to be loved forever.

Now what am I? What is he now? I thought I was the girl for him. I hoped and prayed and actually believed that he was the one I was waiting for. I'm so stupid. I'm too stupid. I should have known. I really should have known better. But then, I kept hoping and praying. I'm so stupid.

I really don't know what path to take anymore. Just yesterday, I still believed that the path I was taking was true. But now, I see the gaping hole in the path that I cannot pass through. The hole will not be filled and I am as empty as that hole that seems to go on forever. Should I turn back and find another path? Should I just turn around? I want to stay and stare at that hole forever. I want to die in this path because it was the path that made me happy. But then, it wasn't a true path, was it? It was just my illusion. So all the happiness I had was an illusion. Nothing is true anymore.

I want to believe in him and I want to believe in me. But then, I don't believe in him anymore. I guess I don't believe in myself anymore either.

I hate this. I hate him. I hate myself.