I want revenge sex

Oh yes I do!!! But I have no idea how to go about doing it.

Two options:

-Talk to the ex and ask him if he's willing to have crazy stupid sex for an hour or so...

-Call up the dangerously easy guy on the phone and ask him if he's ok with casual sex...

But!!! This is really just a crazy idea and I shouldn't do it. I'm just going on my crazy bit.

Comments

On separation

Whenever I listen to you, it seems that even paper flowers have a fragrance. I remember the night we met. It almost seems so long ago with so many things happening between us and yet it was only a year and a half. June 5, 2011. It was close to midnight, I guess. You changed my life then. I was so low and so broken. I wanted to feel something from the emptiness inside me and you came along, with that big smile, that twinkle in your eyes, that confidence daring the world to take you apart. I was not impressed but I was broken enough not to care because simply, I wanted someone to touch me and keep me warm. You took the chance and told me you loved me then and there. I thought you were full of yourself but I let you be you and let you touch me. We spent the day after together. I still remember Chowking and what I ordered. And when you left me in the morning after, I felt just a little less broken. Little by little, I was mended and was stronger and one day, a month after, I ...

On whether I should care...

I'm on a the verge of tears but I am successfully able to hold them in. I don't want to cry here where no one really cares how I feel. I have to hold it in. He's not saying anything and it hurts just a little because he makes me feel like crap sometimes. Whenever I feel like this, I don't want to feel much of anything anymore. I don't want to care anymore. There is me with him and there is me without him. There's a marked difference because the me without him is an empty shell. But then, no matter how empty I may be, I am still myself, right? No one understands why I am like this. Maybe someone out there does but it hurts that even he doesn't understand. If he truly understand, then he would care enough to write, he would care enough to let me know that he's alive. Ah! I'm being scary again. And I am scary. It's not so much that I scare other people. It's more like I scare myself. Probably because this feeling of rage, this feeling of helples...

State of Self

I have red scratches on my wrists. I know I shouldn’t do it but I do and hopefully, someday, I’ll stop doing it. I ate one piece of hopia last Saturday. I ate two spoonfuls of rice last Sunday. Last night, I ate a plateful of spaghetti. I can hardly stomach eating and it hurts to wretch in the morning because there’s really nothing there to hurl out. I’m feeling really faint and low and I think I’m going crazy with all this thinking.

Drinking Milk Tea

Search This Blog