Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Life is confusing

I'm glad JR is back but it's starting to feel confusing again. He's getting obnoxious, which I don't like and I hope he either gets over it before I start getting fed up. Ugh!
JR obviously wants my mother gone. Nanay obviously is willing to go so that JR would be happy with our life. I'm not willing to give up my mother. This is hard!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

On separation

Whenever I listen to you, it seems that even paper flowers have a fragrance.
I remember the night we met. It almost seems so long ago with so many things happening between us and yet it was only a year and a half.

June 5, 2011.  It was close to midnight, I guess. You changed my life then. I was so low and so broken. I wanted to feel something from the emptiness inside me and you came along, with that big smile, that twinkle in your eyes, that confidence daring the world to take you apart.

I was not impressed but I was broken enough not to care because simply, I wanted someone to touch me and keep me warm. You took the chance and told me you loved me then and there. I thought you were full of yourself but I let you be you and let you touch me.

We spent the day after together. I still remember Chowking and what I ordered. And when you left me in the morning after, I felt just a little less broken.

Little by little, I was mended and was stronger and one day, a month after, I actually believed you when you said you loved me and fused my life with yours.

How different today feels from that day.

Thank you for the warmth. Thank you for the hugs and the kisses and the patience, the understanding. Thank you for the smiles. Thank you for the security. Thank you for making me see I'm worth more than the mess I made of myself and thank you so much for loving me.

I love you so much.