Friday, June 21, 2013

I didn’t hate you. I only missed you. I didn’t resent you. I only loved you with all my heart. I love you. I love you.

But I still won't tell you.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

On saying things that can hurt someone else

I saw my ex-husband today. From now on, I might as well start using that term to refer to him. After all, if my Facebook status is separated, his is single, on both of his accounts. Honestly, that stinks but that's life. Also, I really shouldn't care.
I dreaded seeing him. I knew it would make me feel bad in the end. It certainly exhausted me.
I ended up telling him that I absolutely didn't want to see his face anymore because I wasn't over him and it's too hard for me. Can I get points for honesty?
Is it a bad thing to ask why he did the things he did? I've gotten messages of sorry, missing you and all that but when I managed to eke out the question, what do I get back? Total denial of having done anything wrong. And a whack of how you yourself have done your share of evil.
It's all so illogical, really. I couldn't help saying that if he did nothing, what evil are we sharing then? I've apologized already and have accepted whatever witch name he'd like to call me. Whatever else, I'm moving on from that. I will not be that anymore because I do not care to be.
Ah well... No regrets, right? Move on and blessed be to everyone.
Thank you, little child, for always making me happy to my very soul. You are a true joy.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Hello, life. I'm going to take over now.

Monday, June 10, 2013

I Almost Do

I bet this time of night you’re still up.
I bet you’re tired from a long, hard week.
I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window, looking out at the city.
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.

And I just want to tell you,
It takes everything in me not to call you,
And I wish I could run to you,
And I hope you know that,
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do, I almost do.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you,
‘Cause each time you reach out there’s no reply.
I bet it never, ever occurred to you that I can’t say hello to you,
And risk another goodbye.

And I just want to tell you,
It takes everything in me not to call you,
And I wish I could run to you,
And I hope you know that,
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do, I almost do.

We made quite a mess, babe.
It’s probably better off this way.
And I confess, babe.
That in my dreams you’re touching my face,
And asking me if I'd want to try again with you,
And I almost do.

And I just want to tell you,
It takes everything in me not to call you,
And I wish I could run to you,
And I hope you know that,
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do, I almost do.

I bet this time of night you’re still up.
I bet you’re tired from a long, hard week.
I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window, looking out at the city.
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I love you. BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Do I feel better today because I cried so much last night that I’ve cried all of it out last night? Or because he sent an sms. Or because I know I look good. Or why?

 

Whatever else, my tears do not flow that easily today.

 

Thank you, God.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Thank you for the fateful meeting.

Thank you for the smiles.

Thank you for the bright days,

And the laughter-filled nights.

 

Thank you for the happiness,

And the hopes and promises.

Thank you for trying,

And being strong for a while.

 

For the once upon a time.

For a little happy ever after.

For so many little things.

And the even bigger dreams.

 

Happy anniversary.

Wherever you are.

Whoever you are with.

Whatever you may be doing.

 

Thank you.

I hope you are happy.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Life goes on

Life goes on, life goes on

Life goes on, life goes on

 

You sucked me in

And played my mind

Just like a toy

You were crank and wind

 

Baby I would give till you wore it out

You left me lyin' in a pool of doubt

And you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac

You should've known better but you didn't

And I can't go back

 

Oh life goes on

And it's only gonna make me strong

It's a fact, once you get on board

Say good-bye cause you can't go back

Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, is my life before me

And this feelin' that I can go back

Life goes on [repeat 2X]

 

Wish I knew then

What I know now

You held all the cards

And sold me out

 

Baby shame on you, if you fool me once

Shame on me if you fool me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack

Should've known better but I didn't

And I can't go back

 

Oh life goes on

And it's only gonna make me strong

It's a fact, once you get on board

Say good-bye cause you can't go back

Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, is my life before me

And this feelin' that I can go back

Life goes on

 

Na, na, na, na, na

Life goes on

Na, Na, Na, Na,

It made me strong

Oh yeah, got this feeling that I can't go back

 

Life goes on, life goes on, and it's only gonna me strong

Life goes on, life goes on, and on and on

 

shame on you, if you fool me once

Shame on me if you fool me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack

Should've known better but I didn't

And I can't go back

 

Na, na, na, na, na

Life goes on

Na, Na, Na, Na

It made me strong

 

Oh yeah

Gotta feelin' that I can't go back

No I can't go back

Oh yeah

I've gotta go now

I'm moving on

No turning back

'Cause you made me strong

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Love itself isn’t a crime, but cowardly love is, especially when it hurts the people around them.