Monday, September 28, 2009

Hush don't cry...

Hush

I found the Philippines Hush Puppies site. Yay!!!

As mentioned before, Hush Puppies are my choice for footwear. However, I only own one pair. Yes, one pair only. How sad. The said pair are the best pair of shoes I have ever bought in my young life, hands down.

It's a pair of flats and I got it on a 50% sale. If only I have a pair of heels but thankfully, the office does not particularly care what kind of shoes one is wearing...

Personally, I really want a pair of Fascinate. I tend to like boots especially with this rainy weather and leather ones are best as they do last quite a long time. Time will tell if I'll ever be able to acquire these but as of now, I'm eyeing them...

Xpress...

In terms of death, all my cellphones are now dead and will not be coming back to life. And thus, I will be needing new ones... So in the quest for phones, I have decided, it's 5630... Nokia 5630 XpressMusic.
I've thought about this for some time. Initially, I wanted a 5800 when I saw it with VM when I saw him with the other Accenture peeps last time. But then, thinking it over long and hard, I realized that though I was in envy over his having that touchphone, and yes, touchphones are so so kewl, I actually don't want a touchphone for myself. Not yet anyway. With the technology so new, it's not the best time to want it.
So since I now have dead phones, I've enumerated in my mind what I want in a phone... Big space for saving. Good camera features. Symbian 60 because S60 phones are really fast. Wifi. HSDPA. MP3.
So going through all the available ones in the market and with my experience with the 6120, I found the 5630. The 5800 is nice but with the price, 5630 is the best choice after all. Yatta!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Waiting sucks

He didn't do it, did he? He said he'd do it but he didn't. Damn! I hate this part right now. When the stupid tears make your nose clog up and there's a bitter bitter taste on your mouth. I hate this part right now, when you're holding it in but it just goes out of you... I hate this part.

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My favorite outfit

Dark blue Kamiseta shirt
Blue Colours jeans
Planet flip flop slippers

Shoes... The black thing with the ribbons

It was so cute!!! The Lili!!! Really cute!!! I want it!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Shoes... Hush Puppies...

Yes... Hush Puppies!!! Oh how wonderful they are...

I want shoes and for shoes, I'd like to have some Hush Puppies. They're just too bloody comfortable that whenever I try them on, my feet literally sings hymns but no... I have yet to buy any...

Boots...

Booties...

Flats...

Dress Heels...

I want them!!! All of them!!!

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Monday, September 14, 2009

Shoes...

Right now, I want shoes... Lots of them... Well... A few of them and all of them are important and there is a reason why I want them...

I want red strappy stilletoe sandals... Because I need something I can use for the fun fun times... Well... Unfortunately, I do not have fun fun times but it would probably look good in a whole lot of different outfits...

I want white strapless slip-ons. Basically, I need Friday shoes, ok? Fridays are casual days and yet I still wear the black closed-toed shoes on Fridays...

I want mocassins... Soft mocassins that would be comfortable to curl up on a long bus ride or walk in. Ahhh... I'm wanting those Skechers... They're so soft on the foot...

...

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Friday, September 11, 2009

I hate crying

I don't want to cry.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I will not wait forever...

I will not cry tonight, no matter how much the tears threaten to fall. I will not because it's not worth it to cry.

Where the hell is he?

Well... I've emailed him with the various email accounts I have... I wonder if he received any one of them... Where is he? Did he go somewhere?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The zodiac

I am a wood rat and Dan is a water dog...

In the birth and nurturing cycle, water spawns wood. Wood needs moisture to thrive.

Gyoza...

I'm sleepy but nobody cares, ne? Ahhh!!!

...

In fairness to it all, if Dan has been reading my blog and still loves me despite it all, I've gotta say, that's one true love, because I've been decidedly stupid lately...

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I wonder...

I believe that a person will have good fortune as long as everyone else blesses that person. But if one person with a bigger will than everyone else feels ill will for that person, then that person will fail.
I have a lot of faith and my will is strong but what if someone else with an even greater will opposes me? Will I fail?
I don't want to fail and I want to believe in myself.
Please please please let everything be alright.

Guilty

Yeah...Yoh baby, I feel so guilty

Come on sing it boy...

with unexpectedly exchanged words
the gaps in my heart were filled
saying "let's meet again next time"
our gears are scrambling into chaos

a mistake that's already begun
it's the unbreakable truth
even though my heart knows this, my body keeps going back for more

I love you...words that aren't a lie, this magic
sweet and gentle until it becomes suffocating, becomes painful
I want to capture it...this desire filling inside me, this swaying love
no matter many crimes, if I am prepared to carry them, will I be forgiven?

What? What?
the depth of our crimes is growing worse, irritating
but it deepens the shape of our love
But Baby I miss you & I just want you
these unbearable feelings are being tightly controlled
your calls still remain in my phone records
your name too, remains there undeleted
this rotation, the fading tension
a tragic love song on & on & on

as we get just a little closer
no matter who sees we'll still be happy
only at this station do we separate our arms
we've become used to this kind of rule

the places where the two of us meet
and the limited time we have together
if even those are sometimes taken away from us too

hold me...instead of on our next promise, do it right now
having someone decide when we should meet, it's unbearable
over and again...the endless suffering, these memories
it's conflicting...the one thing that heals this pain is your embrace

baby just hold me tight

I love you...words that aren't a lie, this magic
sweet and gentle until it becomes suffocating, becomes painful

hold me...instead of on our next promise, do it right now
having someone decide when we should meet, it's unbearable
over and again...the endless suffering, these memories
it's conflicting...the one thing that heals this pain is your embrace

nobody can't stop this..."guilty"

Monday, September 7, 2009

I am not heartless

I'm not. I am completely selfish but I am not heartless.

I do the things I want to. I avoid the ones I don't. It's a life worth living, I think, to do that.

I have my regrets. A whole load of them. Some things cannot be changed, though. So why linger on the regret when there is so much more of life to lead? One can linger or one can learn. Or if there are things wrong that are repeated day in and out, a certain point comes when one learns that the universe will not always accept it.

I have a question about my life. on that fateful night, when I read that stupid chat message, what would have happened to my life now if I did not bother to reply?

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sweat and blood

I'm tired. I really am. It may be because no matter how young I act, I'm really growing older. I experience something everyday and these experiences change me little by little.

And so...

I have changed and I've grown tired and I fought and I've deflected and I've taken the hurts and the fears. I don't have any energy to fight anymore. I've grown so tired. I don't know how much I really care anymore.

I hate this.

How many times have I let go? I keep wondering just how much I truly believe in those times. I can turn away and I can do it completely. I've done it once and maybe, I can do it again. Maybe. But then, I find myself inexplicibly turning back. What then is complete about it?

Part of me needs him. But how much of that me is alive? He appears and disappears on his own will. He has his own will and I have mine.

I still love him, right? That care he has. The slight annoyance. The laugh. I miss him but... Where the hell is he?