Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Birthdays past and too many things too fast...

I went to Naga City for a week for my birthday and I found out a lot of things. Some things I’d rather not know. Some things I need to know.

It was quite something to get the stuff I got for my birthday. And even till now, there are so many stuff that comes my way that I’m not quite sure that I truly deserve them.

How do I start this? On the night I went back? I was supposed to go by Friday but I can’t remember why I went back Saturday instead. I was so tired on that Friday night rushing everything that could be rushed.

On Saturday, I think I spent it alone. I couldn’t get anyone to come over and play. Tsk! And it tired me out too. I was both excited and dreaded being in Naga City.

I guess I did not write about my semi-birthday party yet. Which I should. Which I will. And which throws this entry way out of order but then, when have I ever made sense, even to myself?

I’ve decided to “celebrate” on the Thursday before my birthday. At my usual haunt of Padi’s Point, I invited anyone who could be invited from the old to not so old days. It was fun. Sometimes, you wonder who sincerely likes you and you find out in various ways. This is one of them. My best friends came thankfully. And my Accenture friends came as well… They stayed for a while, until about 10 or so. My best friends and I stayed and drank and laughed. It was fun to see them talking to each other again. It’s like seeing two lovers returning to each other’s arms. I’m glad.

I fairly got drunk and wanted to dance. As the both of them did not want to, I went inside and danced by myself. That was fairly good fun. It’s fun to get accosted by so many and knowing you can say no. It’s fun to dance by yourself and get surrounded by people. It’s fun to dance with girls and it’s fun when they try to mess you up when you know they’re just probably as messed up deep inside.

Every time I danced, the haze of the drink would go and I’d get tired and I’d go back to my friends outside, waiting, talking between themselves… And it made me happy to see the both of them talking like that, sharing things I can never share… Guy stuff… Or stuff that simply has to do with their lives that does not touch me. I do not mind, really. I know I’m selfish, but I’d rather that they have what is between the two of them, and I have their friendship. I love them, and I hope they also love me as much.

There was Alex… Such a cute guy who tried to have me for himself that night, waiting outside for me. So cute and yet probably just as young. Boys just aren’t cute when they become men. He was warm…

And there was another and another and another who danced with me and around me that night, whirling like the alcohol that just wouldn’t stay put... The alcoholic haze always passes… One glass stays half an hour to an hour and then is gone… So I drink another and another… Till it was time to go…

As there were some boys who seemed to want me to go home with them, I asked my friends to take me home, to take the edge of that particular danger off…

We passed a convenience store and drank some milk tea and water and stayed a few more hours before it was really time to go home… Dusk… A time of parting…

And then there was Friday and it was busy… And I wasn’t able to get to the bus station on time… I don’t think I went to the bus station at all. I was just so tired.

I let Saturday come and went on a bus to Naga City…

Monday I met up with random biker guy… Hahahaha!!! You could say that… It was fun to wear something pretty. I wanted to look really really pretty and I think I did. There was an incident though. I forgot my money and was stranded in a furniture shop. Thank goodness pretty girls are always welcome anywhere. I called him up, sat there and waited. He did come and pick me up and we just talked. If there is nothing else to say about him, he’s always been a fun guy who’s always respected the boundaries I ask him to keep.

And met up with old chat friend… I should be typing this in my other blog. I just might. It seems it has no place in this too public blog where hidden eyes might see. He forgot the keys inside his car when we went inside the mall to get his laptop fixed. He took me home.

What else? Oh! I found out that my ex has been in Manila for a while already. That upset me enough to make me want to drink and I did and thus, made stupid mistakes. Part of life? Grrr! Recklessness. I knew it was stupid.

I got myself a new brand of contacts.

I got a lot of stuff for my birthday. Aside of course from the Starbucks gift checks, the birthday card, the body butter and the death note my friends gave me. One friend gave me a really good deal on an Itouch. Which is way cool. And fate gave me a whole load. I got a pair of Audio Technica headphones for only P170+ and a pair of freshwater pearl earrings for P40+ and free glass frames for the contacts and hmnnn… Some stuff. I think that’s it but maybe more…

And I found someone… But that’s for the other blog, right?

There… For the moment… Going home now… Said too much… Ugh!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Confusion for the moment gone

I haven't posted about the past two weeks but I'll update once I finish the draft... Just that I'm ok for the moment...