Friday, October 23, 2009

...

Aren't we lucky, bear, to have a love like this? To find a love like this? Even if it sometimes hurt, it still feels good to be alive, to feel alive. Though sometimes life makes me feel like I'm drifting on a crazily wounding river, it's like something to hold on to.
Aren't we lucky? It's so scary, though, to have a love like this. To feel this vulnerable. To be this human. To feel like I'm bleeding sometimes, without any cuts and wounds. But it also feels whole. I feel whole whenever I'm with you, as long it's with you.
Aren't we lucky, bear, to find each other? Even though we're hurting each other sometimes. I mind but I don't. Or maybe not. It's not a game, truly. I don't ever want to hurt you or get hurt myself. I never really understood it, though, starting from the first time I ever cried, why I hurt this much without reason. I just do. But truly, only you can make me this happy. Even just one moment, it makes me feel grateful, to feel this way, to be allowed to feel this way.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Where are You Now

To my favorite teacher
Who told me never give up
To my 5th grade crush
Who I thought I really loved
To the guys I missed
And the girls we kissed
Where are you now?

To my ex-best friends
Don´t know how we grew apart
To my favorite band
And sing-alongs in my car
To the face I see
In my memories
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I´m thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn´t for you
I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend
I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend
Sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved
But didn't show it enough
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how,
how to live like I do
If it wasnt for you
I would never be who I am.

And I'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But thats just how it goes,
People change,
But I know
I wont forget you

- guitar solo -

To the ones who cared
And who were there from the start
To the love that left
and took a piece of my heart
To the few who´d swear
I´d never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I´m thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn´t for you
I would never be who I am

If it wasn´t for you
I would never be who I am
If it wasn´t for you
I´d be nothing
Where are you now?

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...

Dear Bear,

Kumusta? Wala kang pasok today, ano? Wala akong masyadong gagawin today except for a whole lot of paperwork. I hate paperwork pero kailangan siyang gawin...

Do you know that there are quadcore laptops available na these days? The laptops sure seem fast now. My poor wee laptop. Oh well... Maybe I'll win the Toshiba laptops they're raffling off in Araneta. I sure do hope I win one. It would be a total blast to get the uber light pink one. Hehe!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intel_Core_i7

Toshiba now has the fuel cell for mobiles. Too cool. Technology is way too fast these days, really.

http://www.thefonecast.com/News/tabid/85/EntryId/1980/Toshiba-launches-commercial-fuel-cell-for-mobile-phones.aspx

I was listening to the radio this morning and I really like the song by Honor Society, "Where are You Now".

I miss you.

-me

____________________________________________________________
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Blood only tastes good when it's fresh

I can't think straight. I need sleep. I really need some sleep. Life is harsh. I hope that things will become easier at least tomorrow.

I miss Dan. I ant hm by my side now.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Laments...

It's a little lonely being here right now and the life I willingly let myself live. However, some days, I simply try to look forward to another tomorrow, even if I don't sleep through the night.

I wish I was better. I wish I was more... I wish I can be perfect though I truly hate the illusion of perfection. I hate it hate it hate it.