Friday, March 12, 2010

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of Tuesday. I'm afraid of next week. I'm afraid of next month. I'm afraid of next year. I'm afraid of a future that has yet to come.
I'm afraid that I'll get hurt. I'm afraid that I'll fall in love. I'm afraid that I'll stay in love with a love that hurts so much. I'm afraid that I won't want any love offered anymore. I'm afraid that I'm always not going to be loved by the one I love. I'm afraid of being discarded. I'm afraid of love.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'll do. I know I want to sleep with a smile on my face but that night will not be tonight. I don't want to sleep. I'm afraid of what dreams bring. I'm afraid of the pain of the tears. I'm afraid of the happiness of false hope. I'm afraid because I know it's all so untrue.
I'm afraid to live. I want to suddenly just collapse, lose all my mind and leave the world for unreality. I'm afraid of everything.
I don't know what to believe in anymore. There's gotta be something true out there for me, right? Why do I not believe in that anymore? What happens with tomorrow?

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