I'd rather he hate me, if his hate lasts forever, then that means that I'm in his heart forever. If he doesn't care anymore, however, I'd rather just die or disappear forever without a trace. Because if he doesn't feel anything anymore, then my existence in his life is meaningless, and my existence in this life is meaningless. I'd rather not care, but then again, I do.
I leaned on someone too much and I suddenly got attached, which is not a good thing. I understand that this might have eventual ramifications. I just never thought it would be so bad as this. I should end it now. I understand that I’m only trying to like someone because they make me feel good but the thing is, it’s moving too fast and I’m not in love. I’m just in like. In all honesty, I’m simply being very much flattered with the attention I am getting and seeking the security of another relationship when in fact, I am not ready for a new one. I’m thankful for the time and the effort and all the flowery words that has come my way. It’s a good build-up for my sense of self after it has crashed but in all honesty, why am I even considering something that is obviously not right? Ok... Time to think... Get drunk again and all that.
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