I would like to clarify that I never told you to your face that your relationship with your kids, especially Jaja, is dysfunctional. Do I think it? Yes. Would I tell Jaja? Probably. Would I ever say it to your face? Very likely not. I am non-confrontational. I prefer not ever telling you these things. I don’t ever tell you these things because it will never ever change anything for the better and will likely produce this obvious anger and resentment on your side. Be resentful all your want. It is your prerogative to do so. It’s my own prerogative to ignore you. In the end, I’m better off just ignoring you.
I leaned on someone too much and I suddenly got attached, which is not a good thing. I understand that this might have eventual ramifications. I just never thought it would be so bad as this. I should end it now. I understand that I’m only trying to like someone because they make me feel good but the thing is, it’s moving too fast and I’m not in love. I’m just in like. In all honesty, I’m simply being very much flattered with the attention I am getting and seeking the security of another relationship when in fact, I am not ready for a new one. I’m thankful for the time and the effort and all the flowery words that has come my way. It’s a good build-up for my sense of self after it has crashed but in all honesty, why am I even considering something that is obviously not right? Ok... Time to think... Get drunk again and all that.
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