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On being a husband and father

As a husband, I generally am content with JR, and there's a lot of points in our relationship that I can honestly say I'm happy. Maybe it's because I had a real jerk for an ex, that I can appreciate just how sweet, understanding and caring my husband is.
With the onset of having a child, however, I'm being my contrary self and finding him just a little uncaring to my child, at least compared to how I am. Point in fact, I can't bare to hear my baby cry. Maybe it's because he's a father and I'm a mother or am I wrong? So hard to second-guess anything right now. But really, I'm kind of hurt.

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I want to say I’m ok without having to lie but I’m not. I’m worried about a lot of things right now they clog my brain. It must be why I didn’t sleep today. I should settle this life I’m living. I should find closure for all these worries. I should stop wanting more than what I already have. I should be done. However, what should be done has never been what I truly do. Smile and bear it. Ignore the bad thoughts. Just smile and bear it.