Drinking Milk Tea

I'm so sleepy but I'm still awake.

I don't feel bad about what is happening to us right now. Three more months and we're standing in a precaorious cliff. Who knows what tomorrow brings? I don't care. Maybe the past is worth it enough for me not to regret the future. I love him, though.

I'm thinking about my relationship to Dan over again. Yes, him once again. Must be boring to read this blog, ne? Ahhh!!! Never mind! I've got nothing to say right now. It's still the same thing over and over again. I better try finding a new song.

I need to miss you I live in the hopelessness since you don't come back to me I survive just for anxiety with a knot in my stomach and the fact is that I can't stop thinking of you little by little my heart is going to lose faith... to lose voice rescue me from the forgetfulness rescue me from the loneliness rescue me from the weariness I'm done to your will rescue me from the forgetfulness rescue me from the dark rescue me from the weariness don't let me go down anymore I want to go on but "love" is the word that sometimes is hard to forget I survive just for anxiety with a knot in my stomach and the fact is that I can't stop thinking of you little by little my heart is going to lose faith... to lose voice rescue me from the forgetfulness rescue me from the loneliness rescue me from the weariness I'm done to your will rescue me from the forgetfulness rescue me from the dark rescue me from the weariness don't let me go down anymore (x3)

Extrañarte es mi necesidad Vivo en la desesperanza Desde que tu ya no vuelves mas Sobrevivo por pura ansiedad Con el nudo en la garganta Y es que no te dejo de pensar Poco a poco el corazon Va perdiendo la fe.....perdiendo la voz Salvame del olvido.....salvame de la soledad Salvame del hastio.....estoy hecha a tu voluntad Salvame del olvido......salvame de la oscuridad Salvame del hastio......no me dejes caer jamas Me propongo tanto continuar Pero amor es la palabra Que me cuesta a veces olvidar Sobrevivo por pura ansiedad......con el nudo en la garganta Y es que no te dejo de pensar Poco a poco el corazon Va perdiendo la fe.....perdiendo la voz Salvame del olvido.....salvame de la soledad Salvame del hastio.....estoy hecha a tu voluntad Salvame del olvido......salvame de la oscuridad Salvame del hastio......no me dejes caer jamas Salvame del olvido.....salvame de la soledad Salvame del hastio.....estoy hecha a tu voluntad Salvame del olvido......salvame de la oscuridad Salvame del has...

I want to say that I forgive him but I'm not sure if he's sorry that we're fighting or he's sorry because he's giving up. Maybe I should let it . But then, where am I right now? If he was here, I might let it go, I think, because eventually I'll feel his hunger for me in his kiss. I would believe that tomorrow would be better than today. However, in this state of mind that I'm in now, I am... disdainful of his emotional distance. I am disappointed in his avarice for money. I am... sad at being alone. I am... hoping he'd tell me that he loves me, truly, and making me believe it. I am... hoping that I'm not disappointing him. I am... trying my best and knowing that I'm failing. I am... so alone. Hoping against hope that he would tell me he's there without throwing it in my face. I'm so bruised deep inside. But then... Why? My head aches. My heart aches. My body aches. I am empty. I am nothing. Am I going to ever be able to find worth in mys...

I'm so sleepy but I don't really think I'll be sleeping early. There's no hope for that. I want to but I know I'm a little disturbed. No, that's not true. I'm a lot more disturbed than that. Hmmm... I'm thinking about a lot of things. Like the fact that I don't think I'll have a lot of money next month. It's ok. It's only money. But then, it'll be a problem when we have to pay a lot of money to the hospital when Tatay is discharged. Life can be harsh to some people. Sometimes, I wonder about the path I have taken. But then, it's a path I've chosen. No going back in time available for me. There's only today and tomorrow. I don't regret choosing to be their daughter. What I regret is being too uncaring about the past few years. Perhaps if... Perhaps not... I'm working hard not to have any problems. But then, it's not like problems can truly be avoided. However, in my life, I know that some things, I truly deserve...