Drinking Milk Tea

There was a time when men were kind, And their voices were soft, And their words inviting. There was a time when love was blind, And the world was a song, And the song was exciting. There was a time when it all went wrong... I dreamed a dream in time gone by, When hope was high and life, worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid, And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid, No song unsung, no wine, untasted. But the tigers come at night, With their voices soft as thunder, As they tear your hope apart, And they turn your dream to shame. He slept a summer by my side, He filled my days with endless wonder... He took my childhood in his stride, But he was gone when autumn came! And still I dream he'll come to me, That we will live the years together, But there are dreams that cannot be, And there are storms we cannot weather! I had a dream my life w...

I have quarreled with my husband once again today. In all fairness, when I look back on today, I know that I was in the wrong for some things. I very much admit so but I don't really want to reconcile. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the one to come to him and say it hurts to be apart. Though people say pride can hurt you, perhaps, this time, I'd like to hold on to it. Or perhaps, after such an endless cycle, my heart is very much willing to give up on itself. I know that today, I don't feel this need to say "Let's talk and make up." Perhaps the last few days have been too much. Perhaps I'm hurting from before. Perhaps perhaps perhaps. Everyday, I tell myself, will I be willing to live with myself if tomorrow I die? I know that today I can. I can live with myself. I can say it's ok if we don't talk. I'm ok if he continues being how he is, silent and unfeeling, because if he is that unfeeling, then it's not my fault anymore. Have I ...

My husband frustrated me a lot today t the point that I cried so much I exhausted myself. I wish that I didn’t trust him so much that when things like this happen, I don’t feel so bad.

I’m happy because my husband got me 5 tops today. It’s not so much the fact that I got anything but that he made the effort to do so. He’s a really sweet guy.

I tried to cut my nails earlier. My nailcutter broke instead. Ugh!

I'm glad JR is back but it's starting to feel confusing again. He's getting obnoxious, which I don't like and I hope he either gets over it before I start getting fed up. Ugh! JR obviously wants my mother gone. Nanay obviously is willing to go so that JR would be happy with our life. I'm not willing to give up my mother. This is hard!!!

Whenever I listen to you, it seems that even paper flowers have a fragrance. I remember the night we met. It almost seems so long ago with so many things happening between us and yet it was only a year and a half. June 5, 2011.  It was close to midnight, I guess. You changed my life then. I was so low and so broken. I wanted to feel something from the emptiness inside me and you came along, with that big smile, that twinkle in your eyes, that confidence daring the world to take you apart. I was not impressed but I was broken enough not to care because simply, I wanted someone to touch me and keep me warm. You took the chance and told me you loved me then and there. I thought you were full of yourself but I let you be you and let you touch me. We spent the day after together. I still remember Chowking and what I ordered. And when you left me in the morning after, I felt just a little less broken. Little by little, I was mended and was stronger and one day, a month after, I ...