Drinking Milk Tea

And I'm going to finish the book I've been meaning to finish. It entails a lot of research and a question of how evil can evil truly be and yet still be loved? Is evil capable of love? Well... I've got the plot down. I just need to write down the conversations. I don't necessarily have to make a frickin' great book on the first try, right? It's my first ever, anyway...

You've got a way with me Somehow you got me to believe In everything that I could be I've gotta say-you really got a way You've got a way it seems You gave me faith to find my dreams You'll never know just what that means Can't you see... you got a way with me It's in the way you want me It's in the way you hold me The way you show me just what love's made of It's in the way we make love You've got a way with words You get me smiling even when it hurts There's no way to measure what your love is worth I can't believe the way you get through to me It's in the way you want me It's in the way you hold me The way you show me just what love's made of It's in the way we make love Oh, how I adore you Like no one before you I love you just the way you are It's in the way you want me It's in the way you hold me The way you show me just what love's made of It's in the way we make love It's just the way you are

I’m tired. It’s almost 6 am and I’m still not yet finished. Story of my life, right? Damn it all!!!   Basically, I’m trying to find certain emails right now that I have to print for work, which is not normally something that makes a person want to cry, right? It makes a person gripe but not cry... Nosirree... However, my stupid email is filled with stupid stupid stuff that I did not get around to deleting, which I should have, by the way. I really should have. I would not be having such a big problem if   I don’t mind the luggage, books and all of his stuff at the hallway of my home. I’ve gotten used to them and are almost invisible to me. I don’t mind the stupid guitar and that stuffed toy we used to laugh about. I don’t mind them a whole lot anymore... At least not much considering how I come home and sleep and drone my life away.   What I mind is that at certain points in my life, I find stupid stuff like th...

I have a confession to make... Which is damning and bad and all that... I'm not yet over my ex... Which is the worst possible thing that could be about me right now, because my ex has been over me for like half a year or so by now... Tsk!!! Sad sad sad and damning... and I'm in a terrible terrible mess because of it. Not that I'm going to be all out crazy and stalk him or anything. Nor am I crying. Nor will I do anything or everything or whatever to get him back. Truth is, I won't. It's just that I can't seem to seriously consider any other guy right now and it's making me do crazy stuff and though I think there are actually some pretty funky guy out there for me, my psyche and my heart is just not ready. Damn it!!! How do you get over being crazy in love? Not that I'm anywhere near crazy right now. I'm just comparing a whole lot of stuff and there are wants and needs that do not get filled. There are crevices that are left as cracks... Tsk tsk tsk!!...

After drinking on and off for a for a few weeks now, I think I’ve gotten a handle on one bottle. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been trying Red Horse for last month and San Mig Light is what’s being offered lately, so basically, it doesn’t impact me all that much. With 5-inch heels today, in spite of having drank a bit, I didn’t fall down the 2 blocks I walked back to the office. And there was a buzz for only 15 minutes or so... Of course, I know there might be some dead brain cells somewhere but if it kills the portions that makes me hear certain things when I’m all alone, then why not?

Oooohh Yeah Oh Oh Oh I never needed you to be strong, I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs, I never needed pain, I never needed strain, My love for you was strong enough you should have known, I never needed you for judgments, I never needed you to question what I spend, I never asked for help, I take care of myself, I don't know why you think you've got a hold on me And it's a little late for conversations, There isn't anything for you to say, And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, So look at me, and listen to me.. (Because) I don't want to stay another minute, I don't want you to say a single word, (Hush, hush, hush, hush) There is no other way, I get the final say, Because.. I don't want to do this any longer, I don't want you, there's nothing left to say, (Hush, hush, hush, hush) I've already spoken, our love is broken, Baby, hush, hush. I never needed your corrections, On everything, from how I act, to what...

I shouldn't have done that...