I kept thinking over and over what is it that I have done wrong. Where have I given too much? Where did I err? In the end, it wasn’t really me at all, was it? It was him and his perceived failures in himself. No matter how many times I encourage him and try to tell him that only he would do, he still did not believe in himself enough and needed someone else to tell him. I really was not enough at all. Or maybe I was too much.
I want to say I’m ok without having to lie but I’m not. I’m worried about a lot of things right now they clog my brain. It must be why I didn’t sleep today. I should settle this life I’m living. I should find closure for all these worries. I should stop wanting more than what I already have. I should be done. However, what should be done has never been what I truly do. Smile and bear it. Ignore the bad thoughts. Just smile and bear it.
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