There’s a part of me that stays ok throughout the day but begs a lot of me when I sleep. I try so hard to exhaust myself every day, sleeping only when I can’t open my eyes anymore. This part of me likes to mock my attempts of being ok, showing me dreams which are untrue. These dreams show me what was and what will never be. I need to sleep but I won’t because I’m so tired of waking up crying.
I want to say I’m ok without having to lie but I’m not. I’m worried about a lot of things right now they clog my brain. It must be why I didn’t sleep today. I should settle this life I’m living. I should find closure for all these worries. I should stop wanting more than what I already have. I should be done. However, what should be done has never been what I truly do. Smile and bear it. Ignore the bad thoughts. Just smile and bear it.
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