Weird... I was feeling very bad about some pimples that appeared lately and then I keep forgetting to go get a facial. Well... Truthfully, it’s not so much that I forgot to get a facial, it’s more like I’m more into spending the time with my bf more than anything else. So with that tendency of mine to prioritize the wrong thing, the two pimples I had increased in size dramatically and an additional 2 more has popped up on my “heat” week. Grr!!! So unfair! So when my bf bought a bunch of lemons as we were going home, I sliced one and slathered it on my face, waited a minute or so and then washed it off with usual facial cleanser. My pimples actually shrank a little bit. I’ll try it again today. Hope it disappears...
I'm on a the verge of tears but I am successfully able to hold them in. I don't want to cry here where no one really cares how I feel. I have to hold it in. He's not saying anything and it hurts just a little because he makes me feel like crap sometimes. Whenever I feel like this, I don't want to feel much of anything anymore. I don't want to care anymore. There is me with him and there is me without him. There's a marked difference because the me without him is an empty shell. But then, no matter how empty I may be, I am still myself, right? No one understands why I am like this. Maybe someone out there does but it hurts that even he doesn't understand. If he truly understand, then he would care enough to write, he would care enough to let me know that he's alive. Ah! I'm being scary again. And I am scary. It's not so much that I scare other people. It's more like I scare myself. Probably because this feeling of rage, this feeling of helples...
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