Skip to main content

Guilty

Yeah...Yoh baby, I feel so guilty

Come on sing it boy...

with unexpectedly exchanged words
the gaps in my heart were filled
saying "let's meet again next time"
our gears are scrambling into chaos

a mistake that's already begun
it's the unbreakable truth
even though my heart knows this, my body keeps going back for more

I love you...words that aren't a lie, this magic
sweet and gentle until it becomes suffocating, becomes painful
I want to capture it...this desire filling inside me, this swaying love
no matter many crimes, if I am prepared to carry them, will I be forgiven?

What? What?
the depth of our crimes is growing worse, irritating
but it deepens the shape of our love
But Baby I miss you & I just want you
these unbearable feelings are being tightly controlled
your calls still remain in my phone records
your name too, remains there undeleted
this rotation, the fading tension
a tragic love song on & on & on

as we get just a little closer
no matter who sees we'll still be happy
only at this station do we separate our arms
we've become used to this kind of rule

the places where the two of us meet
and the limited time we have together
if even those are sometimes taken away from us too

hold me...instead of on our next promise, do it right now
having someone decide when we should meet, it's unbearable
over and again...the endless suffering, these memories
it's conflicting...the one thing that heals this pain is your embrace

baby just hold me tight

I love you...words that aren't a lie, this magic
sweet and gentle until it becomes suffocating, becomes painful

hold me...instead of on our next promise, do it right now
having someone decide when we should meet, it's unbearable
over and again...the endless suffering, these memories
it's conflicting...the one thing that heals this pain is your embrace

nobody can't stop this..."guilty"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On separation

Whenever I listen to you, it seems that even paper flowers have a fragrance. I remember the night we met. It almost seems so long ago with so many things happening between us and yet it was only a year and a half. June 5, 2011.  It was close to midnight, I guess. You changed my life then. I was so low and so broken. I wanted to feel something from the emptiness inside me and you came along, with that big smile, that twinkle in your eyes, that confidence daring the world to take you apart. I was not impressed but I was broken enough not to care because simply, I wanted someone to touch me and keep me warm. You took the chance and told me you loved me then and there. I thought you were full of yourself but I let you be you and let you touch me. We spent the day after together. I still remember Chowking and what I ordered. And when you left me in the morning after, I felt just a little less broken. Little by little, I was mended and was stronger and one day, a month after, I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

On whether I should care...

I'm on a the verge of tears but I am successfully able to hold them in. I don't want to cry here where no one really cares how I feel. I have to hold it in. He's not saying anything and it hurts just a little because he makes me feel like crap sometimes. Whenever I feel like this, I don't want to feel much of anything anymore. I don't want to care anymore. There is me with him and there is me without him. There's a marked difference because the me without him is an empty shell. But then, no matter how empty I may be, I am still myself, right? No one understands why I am like this. Maybe someone out there does but it hurts that even he doesn't understand. If he truly understand, then he would care enough to write, he would care enough to let me know that he's alive. Ah! I'm being scary again. And I am scary. It's not so much that I scare other people. It's more like I scare myself. Probably because this feeling of rage, this feeling of helples...
Post a Comment
Read more

State of Self

I have red scratches on my wrists. I know I shouldn’t do it but I do and hopefully, someday, I’ll stop doing it. I ate one piece of hopia last Saturday. I ate two spoonfuls of rice last Sunday. Last night, I ate a plateful of spaghetti. I can hardly stomach eating and it hurts to wretch in the morning because there’s really nothing there to hurl out. I’m feeling really faint and low and I think I’m going crazy with all this thinking.    
Post a Comment
Read more