Skip to main content

My father...

He is 76 years old. Old, you might say, but I've never thought of him as old until recently. All throughout my life, my father is just my father. Taller than me and always spoiling me and my mother.

I'm adopted. I came into their lives 23 years ago or so. I grew up an only child.

My father is imprinted in me. He's kind, yes, very very kind. They have never been harsh in raising me. In fact, they have been too gentle. He used to lie in this sofa we used to have and I would lie on him and he would tickle me like crazy and I would tickle him back. No one else would do such a thing to me.

He always brought me siopao home. I don't eat it anymore but that siopao and his kindness, gentlenesss and patience for a small little brat seemed unending, wrapped in that small siopao.

I'm all grown up now. And yet when it has come to be my turn to protect them, I can't. I feel inadequate, not only for Tatay, my only true father figure, but also for Nanay who has told me that pride in oneself is everything.

My mother... She hates being pitied but she has found herself in a situation so intolerable for her. She hates to give up like this, but what else can she do?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

:)

I want to say I’m ok without having to lie but I’m not. I’m worried about a lot of things right now they clog my brain. It must be why I didn’t sleep today. I should settle this life I’m living. I should find closure for all these worries. I should stop wanting more than what I already have. I should be done. However, what should be done has never been what I truly do. Smile and bear it. Ignore the bad thoughts. Just smile and bear it.  
I leaned on someone too much and I suddenly got attached, which is not a good thing. I understand that this might have eventual ramifications. I just never thought it would be so bad as this. I should end it now. I understand that I’m only trying to like someone because they make me feel good but the thing is, it’s moving too fast and I’m not in love. I’m just in like. In all honesty, I’m simply being very much flattered with the attention I am getting and seeking the security of another relationship when in fact, I am not ready for a new one. I’m thankful for the time and the effort and all the flowery words that has come my way. It’s a good build-up for my sense of self after it has crashed but in all honesty, why am I even considering something that is obviously not right? Ok... Time to think... Get drunk again and all that.