Drinking Milk Tea

I think I'm better today than yesterday...

And now Im all alone again no where to turn no one to go to Without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to And now the night is near now I can make believe hes here Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head On my own, Pretending he's beside me, All alone, I walk with him till morning. Without him, I feel his arms around me, And when I lose my way, I close my eyes, And he has found me... In the rain, The pavement shines like silver, All the lights are misty in the river, In the darkness the trees are full of starlight, And all I see is him and me, Forever and forever... And I know it's only in my mind, That I'm talking to myself and not to him, And although I know that he is blind, Still I say, there's a way for us... I love him, But when the night is over, He is gone, the river's just a river Without him the ...

Don't speak I can't believe, this is here happening Our situation isn't right Get real, who you playing with I never thought you'd be like this You were supposed to be there by my side When you say that you want me I just don't believe it You're always ready to give up and never turn around But what if I need you baby Would you even try to save me Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true What if I said I loved you Would you be the one to run to Or would you watch me walk away without a fight I'm so sick of worrying that you're gonna quit over anything I can trip and you let go like that And everything that we ever were It seems to fade, but not the hurt 'Cause you don't know the good things from the bad When I say that I want you You know that I mean it And in my hour of weakness There's still time to try But what if I need you baby Would you even try to save me Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true What if I said I l...

I don't know why I want to come back. It's illogical and it's an emotional decision on my part. Probably even delusional. After all, in all honesty, there is absolutely no reason for him not to have a new relationship now. I should probably go die in a ditch somewhere for whatever future I expect for myself.

It's nice to hold on to illusions and make excuses for the things you cannot explain, but once truth is right in front of you and the world crashes down, it's hard not to get knocked down. I hate you!!!

Maybe it's the contact lens. I hope it's the contact lens. Last Sunday, before I boarded the bus to Manila, I bought a new pair of contact lens that I could sleep in. Basically, I could wear it for 6 consecutive days without taking them out.

So the recent events of my life... I waited for Dan... And then... I waited for him to fulfill his promise... And then I got really really really tired. I got so tired and disgusted with the relationship. It pissed me off. Ok, and I was getting tired of listening to my mother wax poetic on how guys shouldn't treat girls like that. It's weird. Yes... I know. I probably would have had more patience if I were alone. However, I wasn't. And when people go over and over and over again over something they shouldn't talk about, you just want to tell them to shut up. Yell even... And so I did it... Well... I did something I was getting pushed to do over and over again. It feels like hurtling off a cliff and I ended up so bruised and battered afterwards. I still don't feel all that well. In plain words, I broke up with him and broke my own heart into a million little pieces. I went back and asked him, if I take it back, would you take me back? I could see it in his eyes. Befo...

sawi...