Drinking Milk Tea

One more day and the third month of the end of a lifetime has come... I guess I can call it a lifetime.

I sometimes can't imagine that I'm a wife and mother. On so many levels, I am still very much that selfish little girl and sometimes, more so than when I was smaller and younger. But I am, truly, a mother and a wife already and on many counts, I'm both happy and apprehensive.

I'm so in love and so happy it makes me crazy. I've never been in a relationship where I've felt so loved and so secure in myself before. It makes me afraid that it'll be gone one day because I'm not sure I know how to deal with being this happy and then not. I was not in love the first day and not even the first week but day after day, the way he made me feel happy and excited and just generally secure in myself made me fall so deep I was already in the pit before I knew it. Just looking at him now makes me happy. Just being with him makes me happy. He became such a regular part of my day that I don't exactly know what to do when he's not there. But the bright thing about it is that he's there. It's not a regular scheduled thing and it varies so much but a day has not gone by that he's not there. It's a long-distance relationship and that just sucks but I spend so much time with him just sitting there in a day I can't really complain.