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Life is confusing

I'm glad JR is back but it's starting to feel confusing again. He's getting obnoxious, which I don't like and I hope he either gets over it before I start getting fed up. Ugh!
JR obviously wants my mother gone. Nanay obviously is willing to go so that JR would be happy with our life. I'm not willing to give up my mother. This is hard!!!

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I want to say I’m ok without having to lie but I’m not. I’m worried about a lot of things right now they clog my brain. It must be why I didn’t sleep today. I should settle this life I’m living. I should find closure for all these worries. I should stop wanting more than what I already have. I should be done. However, what should be done has never been what I truly do. Smile and bear it. Ignore the bad thoughts. Just smile and bear it.